BRUCE ST. PATRICK - “Ghost the Purist Jurist”

To fight Cartoonish Corruption, “Bruce St. Patrick“ was born Lloynard Bruce Luckett in Chicago's Altgeld Gardens housing projects on the far Southside on January 23, 1975 to a Single Mom.

The younger brother, Bruce, an asthmatic child, preferred reading and drawing to time outside.

June 9, 1985 -  Bruce is sexually assaulted by a babysitter at the home of his great-grandparents “Nana” and “Little Papa”, among his most beloved childhood places and people to be amongst.

October 16, 1992 - February 18, 1993 - In his “final” year of high school, Bruce uses a BB gun to carjack an old white woman, spends four months in Cook County Jail affiliating with a street gang called the Unknown Vice Lords or “Ghosts”, sentenced to 48 months probation, opts for GED instead of returning to Kenwood Academy High School in shame. 

Spring 1995 - Bruce enrolls to Southern Illinois University at Carbondale after applying with forged GED transcripts, aces the general portion of the two-part GED exam, but fails the Constitution part. The fraud awakens his hustler’s spirit for an unintended revolution.

June 20, 1995 - Bruce breaks his left femur in a possible car accident. After only two sessions of physical therapy due to no health coverage, the lack announces in his distinctly awkward gait. 

October 17, 1997 - September 2001 - Bruce embraces fatherhood for the first time and often drags his son to classes at Columbia College at Chicago, enrolling after he and Lowkey Brandon’s mom transfer home from their respective colleges. Bruce graduates with Honors earning a Marketing Degree in June 1999, one semester less than four years after starting and breaking a leg. He begins Substitute Teaching at Chicago Public Schools. After years of disclaimer, he dotes on a four year old son Chance Firstborn II a comic artist extraordinaire. 

January 29, 2003 - His First Daughter London Suga is born to his favorite woman ever so he dedicates more hustle to perfect the Old White Ways of Comic Corruption and begins forging checks and register receipts. As small teams of people who negotiate the instruments in banks, currency exchanges, and retail stores suffer legal consequence, he rests knowing he gives each person first right to refuse, “You don’t do what I do. And I won’t do what you do. At such an impasse, I prefer to stay behind the scenes to direct our production. I make forged documents. You convert them. If either of us could do both, we wouldn’t need the other. I have no intention of ever going back to jail. Your chances could be higher. Are you comfortable?”  Impeccable forgeries help most to embrace their roles with zeal as he’s dubbed “Young Frank Abagnale“ by some.

January 2005 - June 2007 - Bruce graduates from Chicago’s John Marshall Law School and passes the Indiana Bar Exam (barred from the IL Exam by student financial obligations) but is denied entry by the racist Republican State's Bar Examiners three times.

November 29, 2005 - Bruce’s best friend the original “Bandaged Bandit” is sentenced to 9 years in prison for robbing 13 banks between December 2003 and April 2005 - two of which, Bruce drives getaway and once literally helps wash Red ink from bills exposed to an exploded dye pack and feed bills into slot machines at nearby casinos to turn the money back to Green cash.

July 2013 - Bruce signs an autograph for a little Indian boy he meets on vacation in Greece.

February 2015 - April 2026 - Bruce passes the Texas Bar Exam, among the nation’s simplest for smart people, moves his family which now includes 8-year-old Liam Boogie, to Conservative Clown Country to finally begin the “practice”. Shortly after relocating, his youngest nephew Leaves By Choice catapulting his Life Sentence behind the fourth wall of injustice to warn him of a cartoonishly unscrupulous administration eager to ignite World War III to hide "wonderful secrets." Mentally tormented, he solicits, but never quite trusts his psychiatrist and refuses meds as his increased use of marijuana ushers a new spiritual path divesting him of his faith and belief in a singular God, Son, or Holy Spirit. Both Real and Conservative Christians alike label him Batty Without Jesus as he suffers a regular series of mental breaks that warrant first, an extended stay at a failed mental hospital in Maywood, IL then, another degrading stint at a slightly worse facility in Austin, TX that lead to the loss of his family and him becoming an unhinged, unhoused and unwilling resident of his own vehicle for years off-the-grid and on The People’s Couch. The quest for clarity ends as he realizes he was NEVER the crazy one. His world was. So He Rebounds READY now, to help The People PLAY law as Better Jurists who Commandeer Courts by filing individual lawsuits under the guidance of AI glasses and a book called That Wizard of Ours about a severely imaginative lawyer, who rewrites the story of Oz to leverage his own government to ordain him The Purist Jurist— A Super Lawyer who gives clients a “Live Book” to view in his personal online document processor where they can amend and adopt by SMS, the U.S. Constitution Live Daily for a $1 monthly Access & Retainer fee if paid in cash, or $2 by debit, as they get SET to help his firm rewrite a true story of Cartoonish Corruption.

GO!